There are times when working in this industry that I feel like a complete and utter failure, like I don't have the looks, the style, the designer bags or the fancy marble counters that every other successful blogger has. There are days when I scroll through Bloglovin and wish that I could even get one blog post up, let alone one a week like some super-bloggers.
Being plus size I sometimes feel that there is only so far I can get in this industry, I have been very lucky to have worked with many of the plus size brands over the years but I worry that maybe everyone is bored of my same old, long hair, smiley, typical poses, and that perhaps my boat has sailed. If I am honest, there are days when I just ghost social media and carry on my normal day to day life, the one where I work as a receptionist, that commutes into work on a packed train every day and buys an overpriced Pret sandwich at lunch time with the rest of London.
The blogging world and fashion industry can be a tough place to work within, comparison is the theif of joy after all. When everyone around you is talking about how much they are getting done, ticking off every single thing on their to-do lists, starting their own clothing lines and being the ultimate Girl Bosses it can make you feel a bit crap. It's stupid that it makes me feel like that because, these people are amazing, they are smashing their goals and that is something to look up to.
I guess sometimes I feel like I am just not 'Girl Boss' enough.
When 'Girl Boss' became a thing, I was all over it, I hashtagged the shit out of the term and I even bought the ever so 'Instagrammable' book but as time has gone on I've felt more GirlFlop than Girl Boss.
I'll be honest this year didn't start off so well, my mental health was bad, really, really bad and my ideas of making 2017 the year of ultimate success haven't quite panned out quite as I would have liked.
I thought that going part time in March would finally give me the push I have needed so I could really put my all into my blog, and whilst yes I have been getting work done, and doing lots of fun things I still haven't achieved many of my personal business goals. My website and re-brand is currently under construction and it has taken longer that I would have liked but I have come to accept that it is okay and that I just can't rush these things. I also haven't been focusing everything entirely on blogging I have been working on my my personal life, my mental health and giving time to people I want to surround myself with.
These last few months have made me think, maybe being a Girl Boss isn't just achieving in business, maybe it means much more than that. One of the things I have achieved this year is to finally get my home in a place I want to it be, and it's now been three+ weeks of making my bed every single day and getting into a bed time routine. I have also managed to keep five plants alive, five!! These might seem like the most pathetic achievements on the planet but it means something to me. It shows that I put my mind to something and have actually seen it through, something which I am usually not very good at.
So, I don't have any fancy award titles or announcements for 2017 (yet) but I do have slightly better mental health, a home (and husband) I love to come home to, a freshly made bed everyday, and lots of thriving plants. I have my whole life to achieve things and I hope you all know that you do to.
My advise is to just take your time, always be kind to yourself and never discount the small achievements that you make every day, because they make you as much a Girl Boss as anyone else! So this post is for the everyday-girl-boss women and all my fellow Girl Flop feeling gals, we have got this and don't you forget it.
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