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Monday, 29 May 2017

A turning point in my life



Todays blog post is a little different than my usual, perhaps more personal than I have posted lately but, recently I was asked to take part in both an exciting but equally meaningful campaign with Italian brand Marina Rinaldi The campaign and competition is called The Turning Point and the concept is for women to share a real impacting moment in their life be it small or large that has made a difference to them. My turning point moment, may seem insignificant to others but it is one that I believe has really changed me and my life for the better, in more ways than I could ever imagine and I like to think it has also in part helped impact others. Here is my turning point story:

My Turning Point

Life is a funny old thing, from year to year we look back and think of how different things are from the years before. We are growing as people all the time, our views, our friendships, our jobs these all change as we grow older and it is a part of life. One thing that we cannot deny is that sometimes the path we are on in life leads us to funny places, and some experiences, lessons and moments have a real impact on us. Nearly five years ago I began my journey into the blogging world when I started writing an online diet journal in a desperate attempt to shame myself into finally losing weight.

At the time I hated how I looked, I had not long graduated from University and I watched as many of my friends set off to travel or get serious jobs as teachers or high flying jobs in banks. Straight after uni I took a job at a university and worked as a receptionist, and I actually loved it, but I always felt ashamed about it, that I had somehow failed at getting a 'real graduate job' and I blamed that entirely on my weight. When I started the blog in a desperate attempt to get slim, I used it as a way to pour out hateful thoughts about how disgusted I was about myself. The blog equaled accountability and I thought if I had people encouraging me, that I would finally be able to let go of my complicated (disordered) relationship with food.

I called the blog slimming in the city and week to week I would log my weighloss it in form of a food diary and journal and share it on my social media channels. People loved it, they told me they too wanted to lose weight, that they were proud of me for taking control and that spurred me on to want to lose more and more each weigh in. I started to obsess over every meal, cry and binge when I failed and use laxative aids to help me, but I was losing weight. However this only lasted for a short while, the pressure of sharing my journey was intense, and when I didn’t lose weight I would feel a failure. My anxiety was the worst it had ever been, I felt sick at the thought of telling the readers, my friends and family that I had gained weight or that I had let myself down. I would cry, and feel awful and this vicious circle of self-hatred began.

Then one day everything changed for me. Knowing that I a holiday coming up I decided to search the term ‘Plus Size Swim wear’ into google as I needed something new to take with me and what happened next changed my whole life. When searching the term a blogpost popped up. It was from American fashion blogger Gabi Fresh, and it described the life and style of a beautiful girl who also happened to be my size. 

I spent hours and hours reading. Seeing all these amazing outfit ideas and reading such positive words had a profound impression on me; from there, I also stumbled upon many other body-positive blogs ones that encouraged loving yourself at whatever size. The more and more I read the more I reflected on just how sad and hurtful my own words were. I asked Dan my boyfriend (now husband) if he thought the diet diary was a good thing and he for once was openly and honestly told me no. He explained how he hated to see me so upset, to be so obsessed with my weight, he hated to see me cry over a half a pound  or see me writhing on the floor in pain with cramps from over using laxatives. 
and it was then that I decided the diet diary had to go. If I was going to lose weight it couldn’t be from such a negative place, it couldn't be from self hatred and it was then that my new blog was born. 

I called it From the Corners of the Curve with the idea that there is no corner to a curve and that you can decide your own path in life. My blog then became a place to share my new-found love for fashion, my travel experiences and my personal experiences as a plus-size woman navigating life. My blog has allowed me numerous opportunities including, travelling, writing, modelling for many brands (including Marina Rinaldi) as well as being the first ever Plus Size columnist in the UK for Marie Claire, it truly has changed my life and now is now my professional career. I think back to that day on my sofa, and how that one google search changed my life and took me on a journey to something new and positive. Sometimes it just takes one small thing to impact us and no matter how small we should acknowledge and be proud of those things, I for one will never forget it. 

Do you have a turning point story or a moment that impacted you? If so why not share it with Marina Rinaldi for a chance to win an exclusive in-store experience at the Marina store in Milan during Fashion Week. You’ll be a special guest at the Marina Rinaldi Event, win a voucher for €500 as well as a personal shopper experience to create your chosen look. I am on the judging panel so would love to see some of my readers as you all mean so much to me. Without you, this blog would be nothing. Simply click here to watch my video story and also submit your own.

Thank you again for being part of my moment. 
*This post was in collaboration with my friends at Marina Rinaldi 

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