Thursday, 16 January 2014

I can't.

If for the entirety of your life all you have been told is 'You can't wear this, you can't do that' it kinda gets stuck in your head. I spent years and years pretty much living in black clothes because I was once told it was slimming. I get asked all the time since starting this blog 'How do you have so much confidence?' I also have a lot of really beautiful, kind and intelligent women saying 'I wish I could wear that' and I am like YOU CAN However I know that it really isn't that simple. I was exactly the same with my attitude about what I could and couldn't wear and about how I viewed my self image. Here is a caption from one of my first ever posts 

" In all honesty I don't follow fashion as much as my other friends mainly because I don't think I could pull any of it off. It was then that I came across a number of blogs where girls of all sizes write posts of themselves in fashionable and beautiful clothes. They talk about body confidence and being happy in their own skin. I know that is one thing I am not. " 

Reading that now it feels like I don't know who that person is, when did I go from hating my body to proudly loving life wearing bikini's crop tops, skinny jeans and prancing round photo shoots? I can only say that it has taken time and I want to advise any girls, that this will not happen over night. In order to change the way you think and see yourself means you have to actively be involved in rejecting these rules that you are told you have to live buy. Here are some of my tips on how to improve your confidence and self image issues.

  • Start by reading body positive blogs and plus size fashion blogs there are so many of them around the internet you can find them on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook. (Next post I plan on sharing some of my favs )

  •  Secondly STOP reading body shaming magazines, you know, the ones that post pictures of women mocking their bodies, calling them fat when they are clearly not fat encouraging you to try fad diets that NEVER work ( here is a great post about dieting stats ) yeh stop reading those. 

  • I also encourage you to respond to people who are rude and body shame in front of you. For example if your friends say ' OMG that person is so fat and disgusting' respond with 'That isn't a very nice way to talk about someone' or if you're me tell them to stop being a dick.

  • When it comes to becoming more fashion confident that is totally down to you, maybe try and add a little colour to your wardrobe, or some new shoes. Treat yourself to clothes that make you feel good. Even if you are on a weight loss journey don't wait until you have slimmed down to buy something you like, dressing up and feeling good go hand in hand with building confidence.

  • Accept compliments when they are given to you, if someone has taken the time to tell you look nice they probably mean it. 

  • Perhaps my most important piece of advise STOP JUSTIFYING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. Should you be eating that? Why are you wearing that? What about your health? What about your BMI? Do not explain yourself to other people, why should you have to do that? Do they explain to you about their life decisions? Do they explain why they bingedrink or smoke? No! So stop letting people make you feel small, people who do that are crossing personal lines and they need to be told that. Equally don't let anyone belittle you for wanting to lose weight, if you want to that is fine, as long as you are not rubbing it in others faces or posting a before and after pic body shaming then it is your business what you do with your body. 


Finally be nice to yourself, if you aren't happy with your body shape, weight or anything, talk to friends, think of ways to positively go about losing weight, join an exercise class that you enjoy, go with the girls to a dance class or for a nice walk when it's sunny. The only person who is responsible for the way you feel about yourself is you, and you are worth betting on and fighting for. No matter what you choose to do love yourself and your body for all the wonderful things you are capable of.

Here are some pictures of me a size 20/22 wearing lots of the clothing we are told we shouldn't or can't wear. Trust me If  I can do it so can you. <3

CAN'T WEAR CROP TOPS OR FLORAL PATTERNS 

 photo 11-DSC_0185_zpsb9cae66b.jpg

CAN'T WEAR LACE OR SHEER CLOTHING

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CAN'T WEAR KNEE HIGH SOCKS

 photo 02-DSC_0110-001_zpsb7ae5ca4.jpg

CAN'T WEAR A BIKINI

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CAN'T WEAR A TWO PIECE


 photo 4-DSC_0011_zpse9263521.jpg

Remember you can do whatever you put your mind to. 

Callie xoxo 

22 comments:

  1. I fucking love you.

    That is all. x x x

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  2. christiana_gabriella16 January 2014 09:34

    I was about to write the same thing! x

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  3. Gabrielle Joseph16 January 2014 10:03

    Go Callie!!!!! Love all the looks and the message :)

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  4. Love this, Callie! Amazing tips :)

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  5. I am in love with this post.


    I've been talking alot about people saying "I can't" lately. The last couple of days I've noticed how many comments on Facebook (for example on Zizzi's facebook page or Junarose or....) are all about "can't". I saw a comment stating: "Why do they always do horizontal stripes in those collection? Fat women can't wear that!" or "Why is the neckline always round? Doesn't excactly make us look smaller". Or... can't wear skinny jeans, can't wear bodycons, can't wear..................................................


    And lately it just makes me mad. Or sad. I can't figure it out. A few years ago I felt the same way; I can't wear this and I can't wear that. Then I started reading blogs and started blogging myself, and it litterally changed my world. And it's wonderful. I'm just sad that so many women out there still feel like they can't.


    Thank you for this post.


    Malene xx
    www.piece-of-my-mind.blogspot.com

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  6. Spot on advice! I started out doing all of those things and it changed me drastically. I also found it really helped to read body positive books as well as blogs. "Hot and Heavy" edited by Virgie Tovar was one of those books that totally changed me. I'm currently reading "The unapologetic fat girl's guide to exercise". To flood my mind with that kind of material has been the best thing. Love your post x

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  7. I couldn't love this post more! Thanks for writing it! This is the kind of post I needed to read back when I hated myself and hadn't discovered the world of body positivity and plus size blogs / blogging! I'm sure these words will help a lot of people struggling with their own bodies. Keep on being fabulous! xx

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  8. absolutely loved this post. i was positively influenced when I found blogs with fashionable women who looked like me!Loved it hun!you can wear what you want,whenever you want

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  9. Hello your are jsut perfekt, remember God made you to be loved by your self and the rest of this world.
    Your are just so sweet at photo nr. 2 and you are a sexbomb at photo nr. 5.
    I like you:-)
    Mary-Liz
    http://www.mariahoffbeck.blogspot.com

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  10. Hello :-) I love your blog and positivity. Something's really annoying me - I'm certain I saw you on a TV program not so long ago, I think about weight etc. It was a documentary?!


    Love Sophie x

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  11. Michelle | CreatureType.com18 January 2014 13:03

    This post is AMAZING. It's so wonderful seeing how communities on the internet that many people dismiss as silly or shallow actually provide invaluable positivity in our lives. You're such a fucking babe--I love all your outfits, especially that swim suit! Dang!

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  12. UNF I WISH I WAS YOU SO MUCH

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  13. i love this post and I love reading your blog :) xx

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  14. Love this! I never got a kick out of my friends calling someone ugly. That was my peeve, and it still is. Now some of my friends finally got it. As they got older and more mature they finally figured out that it's so childish to call folks ugly now. It took me a while to feel like I could wear what I wanted, and blogs that are body positive before it was a "thing" helped me along the way.

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  15. Thank you so much! Nope note me I think you may be confusing me with Gemma Collins? She appeared on a weight loss documentory. Xxx

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  16. Ashleigh Millward29 January 2014 04:23

    Hey Doll, There's so much great advice in this post, even for those who aren't necessarily "plus size", or even that worried about their weight. As a size 12-ish "perfectly normal BMI" type I think I'm as prone to down days as the next person and sometimes we all need to remind ourselves to be a little kinder to ourselves. We can all be our own worst enemy I think, and this post made me smile, and feel a lot better, regardless of the fact that I'm lucky enough not to have people dictating what I should or shouldn't wear (or if they are, I've never noticed them!) Good on you lady xx

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  17. This post is the most uplifting, positive thing I've read in I don't know how long x

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  18. This post is so so so perfect! Recently I've come across lots more plus-size bloggers that I didn't even know existed. I have always felt uncomfortable posting about fashion/OOTD posts because firstly I didn't think anyone would want to see me, and secondly, I don't dress how I would like based on my weight. However, over the past couple of weeks I have been inspired and I feel so much more confident about myself and my weight and know to trust in what I feel is right for me fashion-wise. I think this post is perfect, but it makes me sad that it is needed.


    Nat
    http://www.rocketdreamers.blogspot.co.uk

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  19. I fucking love this post, and you and this blog. You look amazing in every single one of those photos - you pull of a two piece and a crop top better than me, I couldn't even consider wearing that! Good on you girl! I will try to (begin..) to love myself more after reading this! I am also late to the party but have just been stalking you and obvs missed this post xxx

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  20. Rebecca Byrne31 March 2014 09:47

    Those outfits are absolutely stunning! Definitely inspired me to try new things and not be put off by the size on the label x x x

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  21. I have just found this blog, this is the first post I have seen, and I can tell that I am going to LOVE this :) You're amazingly confident and embrace your figure with such a passion, whilst proving the social 'norms' wrong in such a wonderful, stylish way! You can wear crop tops and bikinis with style, maturity and grace and I completely respect you for that! I find you different from other plus size blogs since you wear these outfits and can pull them off fantastically, you know how to dress for your body type and just look downright great! Unlike other blogs that literally skinny-shame while loving their own body, you seem to understand that everybody's different, but that we can all look good, even in the oncoming trends, as long as we dress in a way that flatters us and makes us feel nice about ourselves! I've always though I was a but podgy (even though I just realise I really wasn't) and recently slimmed down from a UK8/US4 to a UK6/UK2, and I have to say that this might not have been best decision as I'm a bit of a stick now (ew lol) but I do love my body right now :D you've developed this body-acceptance within me from this single post, and I thank you profusely for that! You're one of the most wonderful, beautiful people I've ever seen so far (inside and out) and I sincerely look forward to reading the rest of your blog! :)

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