Monday, 30 July 2012

Curvy Kate's Birthday & Blogger event.

So last wednesday I was invited along to the 3rd Birthday party for the fabulous lingerie brand Curvy Kate. As a new blogger I was very exited to be meeting other bloggers as well as get to know more about the Curvy Kate brand which I had heard such great things about.

For those that don't know, Curvy Kate are a lingerie brand offering a collection from D-K cup they are fairly new but are a growing company who are always changing to help accommodate the needs of their customers. 

One thing that I particularly  loved when I met the team was the fact that Curvy Kate choose not to use professional models on their ad campaigns they however opt for women that show a true representation of what lingerie would look like on us every day women! The way they find their gorgeous models is through the Star in a Bra competition. So girls if you would love to show the world your gorgeous curves go and look into applying! 

Here are some photos of the beautiful girls modelling some of the collections for the Spring/Summer and Autumn/Winter range.




 Gorgeous girls and the Designer of the collection. 


I was actually measured and it turns out I have been wearing the wrong size. I have gone from a 40E to a 36GG! I recommend that every girl goes and gets a good bra fitting, the improvement after finding out my real bra size was phenomenal. 

Can you believe I have just posted a photo of myself in a bra?






I had a really great evening and it was one to remember as it was my first ever blogger event. The bloggers, models and Curvy Kate staff really made me feel welcome. I would 100% recommend that girls check out the Curvy Kate brand it ranges from perfect day wear bra's to sexy night wear. I love all that Curvy Kate stands for which is to create beautiful lingerie for bigger busted women.

If you want some more info on Curvy Kate check them out on twitter. @curvykate

I for one will be getting a new lingerie set for my holiday in the right size!!


Sunday, 29 July 2012

My Weekly round up.

So this week has been a busy one for me. I have been off from work for 2 weeks after having surgery to have my appendix removed so I was so glad to be back up and running feeling healthy and well. Please excuse some of my bad photography but here is a round up of my week:


A night in with the girls.



Curvy Kate Birthday and Blogger event.



Food Market at The Southbank.










What did you all get up to this week?




Friday, 27 July 2012

Friday Favorites


In the spirit of summer and seen as many people will be jetting off on their holiday's (including myself) I thought I would post some of my favourite holiday buys.






      Isis Aubergine High Waist Brief



As a curvy girl myself I am loving the high waist 2 piece bikini . It is very flattering and looks lovely on, I know because I got one! For £38 you could get the briefs and if you are on a budget and can't afford the bikini top you could match it up with your own for cheaper. You can find this here on the Elomi website. 
                                    



I was lucky to have a Kindle for my birthday. At first I was a bit anti-E readers as I love the feel of a good book, but since having one I have to admit it is fabulous! I use it every day and there are lots of free or low priced books available to download. This is great for holiday as if you are like me and love reading by the pool or the beach you can read as many books as you like without weighing down your suitcase! It also reads just like paper so you don't get the glare you would on something like an iPad. You can get one from Amazon for just £89.




     
                                                                   FLOPPY SUN HAT IN 3 COLOURS

I just LOVE the floppy beach hat look. Perfect to add a bit of glamour to sitting around the pool as well as protecting your head from intensive heat. It's a win win for me! This floppy hat is £20 on ASOS Marketplace

Is there anything that you cannot go on holiday without?!

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie


I am on a hunt for some lovely wedges and these are all glorious however I have the widest feet known to man. I often find that wedges seem to fit me much better than other shoes. These below are my new current favorites and they are all from Schuh. I am desperate to get nice pair that are comfy for my holiday to Barbados!!



Any ideas for a good place to get some decent Wide Foot shoes??




                                                               

Monday, 23 July 2012

In Memory of Amy Winehouse.


I wanted to write a dedication post to Amy Winehouse. Today is the year anniversary since her death I am a huge fan of her music, and have been all through her music career. It is so sad that her life was destroyed by alcohol and drug abuse and I do hope that the charity the Amy Winehouse Foundation. that was created in her memory will go on to help those who are suffering with addictions. 


My thoughts are with her family today.





Sunday, 22 July 2012

Jeepers Creepers.

So I am now beginning to fall in love with collared shirts. They are currently on trend at the moment and can be worn with jeans or with skirts for a causal or dress up feel. I spent a small fortune in Primark but managed to find some really lovely bits including some gorgeous collar necklaces. Definitely worth an invest as they can really make an outfit. After a tiresome day of shopping my lovely boyfriend offered to take me to our favourite Spanish Tapas restaurant La Mancha I thought this would be a perfect time to wear some of my new COLOURFUL clothes and my new beautiful Creepers! 







These creepers were from a cheap shoe shop in my local town but similar style can also be found here on Ebay .






Some of my favourite Tapas: Tortilla, pan con tomate, marinated anchovies, honey ribs and Valencian Paella



What did you all do with your weekends?




Saturday, 21 July 2012

OOTD. My first ever one.

So this is my first time posting an outfit. I literally bought the clothes in this outfit months ago but always felt like I looked to big in them. I opted to play it safe in my black leggings and black top like some sort of ninja.
Well ladies and gents I present to you my first ever OOTD with actual colour!

Please excuse the pose.









Friday, 20 July 2012

"People say such horrible things...and it stays with you"


I wanted to share this video with you. It's created by  the 'Body Image Project' .

When I saw the video I was intrigued to say the least. By the end of the video I was in tears. We all suffer with body image complex's and I am sure many girls and boys have something about themselves that they don't like. I am coming to realise that it is NOT OK for other people to put you down. No one, not family or friends should make you feel less of a human because you don't fit into the norm.

I thought I would share an experience of mine with you. One time I was off on my way out on a Bank Holiday weekend and was getting the tube to go out. It was very busy and a group of lads got on the train and began making vile remarks to everyone about everything. When we got off the tube and we were walking up the escalator they began targeting women shouting things like 'FAT BITCH, WHORE anything and everything. I am ashamed of what I did next I actually put my head down and when I got to the top of the stairs hid behind a group of people to wait for them to walk on so that they wouldn't spot me and call me out on how Fat I was. Because I am fat. I wear size 18 clothes so I new I would be a target. I am ashamed of what I did for hiding I should have turned round and told the Dicks where to go. I should have gone over to the transport police and made a complaint about their abuse. That night I spent all night thinking about how horribly fat I looked and I left early. I never told any of my friends why. 

I am on a journey to learn to love myself and to not accept abuse from anyone. Just because I am big I should not be made to feel like that. I choose how I feel and from now on I will not let someone make me feel that low. Please watch the video.






Thursday, 19 July 2012

ASOS £100 Blogger Challenge



 The Discount Coders Blog are running a competition to win £100 worth of ASOS vouchers to create a stylish outfit for under or exactly £100 here is my entry. The outfit comes in at £98 and is perfect evening wear. It is a dazzling outfit which will sure to have people stopping. 




 Top: £ 22                                                      Leggings £35

                                                                                                           

                         Belt : £6                                                                               Shoes: £35





The Peplum Top
is a great buy, provides a beautiful shape for curvy girls and when paired with The Belt it helps define and extenuate the waist.

The Leggings are fabulous, everyone loves a bit of sparkle and they are perfect for a night out on the tiles.

Finally The Shoes. I am a huge fan of wedges and these are a bargain at £35 the point at the end of the wedge adds sophistication to the outfit.


All of the items chosen above were inspired by the blogger GABIFRESH who posted on her blog wearing a number of the items above. However her shoes are designer as well as a number of her accessories. I think all though this is a concept created by another blogger the choices make for an excellent bargain yet beautiful outfit. I for one would LOVE to win that outfit! So please pick ME. 
00






Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Welcome to my new and improved Blog.

When I began writing this blog over 4 months ago I was writing from what I thought was a good place. I decided to write openly and publicly about my journey to lose weight. I had an over whelming amount of support from my friends on Facebook and other fellow 'slimming worlders'. I posted weekly about how I felt with losing and gaining weight and I really began to feel in control I was losing nearly every week things were  great, but soon I began to fall back into old habits and the old feelings of failure swept back in. I have only just realised that even telling the entirety of my Facebook and Twitter did not make losing weight any easier, in fact I then began to feel like even more of a failure when I didn't lose due to the pressure of everyone expecting something of me.

As I wrote in my previous post for a long time I have not felt comfortable in my own skin. No matter how many times my boyfriend or best friends tell me that I look beautiful it never really skins in. I have spoken a lot about the fact that I wear a great deal of black clothes, this became shockingly obvious to me when I was looking back at some very special occasions in my life.

In every single photo below I am wearing black. My Graduation, 21st Birthday, Prom and my 18th.

I know we all love a little black dress but I take it to another extreme. In all honesty I don't follow fashion as much as my other friends mainly because I don't think I could pull any of it off. It was then that I came across a number of blogs where girls of all sizes write posts of themselves in fashionable and beautiful clothes. They talk about body confidence and being happy in their own skin. I know that is one thing I am not. 

I think until I can learn to even like myself then the losing weight and being happy will never really work. I realise now that I have written a few fat shaming posts about myself. I am fat. Cannot believe I just said that! But I am, I have spent most of life saying it to myself in the mirror nut secretly hoping that all my friends and people I meet don't think it. Quite frankly I was hoping that making the diet blog would help me to lose weight and I would be really happy. I now see that I have to be kind to myself and let weight loss come from a happy place. I have now decided to try and wear more colour, write about things that interest me as oppose to focusing everything in my life on losing weight. I will even use my money on buying myself nice clothes, shoes beauty products instead of spending money on diet food.

I will not give up on healthy eating but I also will not punish myself when I am not perfect on my diet. Actually strike that there is no more diet! I am on a healthy eating plan, So here's to the day when I can look in the mirror and like what I see! I hope that you will continue to follow my posts, and thank you for taking the time to read this today.



Thursday, 12 July 2012

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

I wanted to share this post with everyone as this last week I have been having a really difficult time in my life. However I would like to thank all my friends and Dan who have been my rocks not to be overly sentimental but I really do love them all.

On Friday I was rushed into hospital with Appendicitis which wasn't the greatest experiences of my life. However I was taken very good care of in the hospital and had surgery which safely removed my infected appendix. With the help of my friends and boyfriend I am on my way to getting better.

I wanted to admit something to everyone, one of my first thoughts when I was in hospital was firstly to think 'Think about the weight loss' my second thought was now I won't be able to go to the gym I am going to stay fat for Barbados. I am aware that they were some pretty unhealthy thoughts.

Lately I have been following some curvy fashion Blogs. Reading other girls write only positive thoughts about their looks and their body was weird for me. I always assumed that if you were bigger like myself you would be unhappy. Anyone who knows me will tell you my entire wardrobe is black and I cannot bring myself to wear colours hardly ever. Don't get me wrong every now and then I do and it has been recently that I have made myself do it but I still convince myself I look huge.

I have even made jokes to my own boyfriend that he is a chubby chaser, that he only likes me for my personality or my 'pretty face' which is really sad. Then yesterday I was reading a Blog of a girl I started following only last week who wrote something called her 'Fat Manifesto' please take a read it really affected me.




"As a ‘big girl’ I go through phases of questioning, worrying about, agonising over this state, and very long periods of not thinking about it at all. Recently, I’ve found myself in a questioning phase; a problem of definition. I have no problem with calling myself ‘fat’. I simply am. To my ears, my own voice using this term isn’t hateful or self-loathing, it denotes nothing but the truth of my body. I have no problems self-defining as fat. Everyone else, however, seems reluctant to afford me the same luxury. I remember, maybe 5 years ago, referring to myself as fat in front of a friend. ‘But you’re not!’ he cried, ‘you’re not fat!’. He seemed to think he was reassuring me, appeasing me, whether or not he was telling the truth. What I couldn’t muster the energy to say to him then, and what I’ve since learnt to say succinctly and with dignity, is that denying my fatness is denying me the right to be attractive. When I say ‘I’m fat’, I’m making a pronouncement on my size and my body. The colour of my eyes, the way I look after my nails, the shape of my lips, the length of my eyelashes; none of this has anything to do with my size. And besides, what if I like my thighs, my chubby upper arms, my fleshy, surgery-scarred stomach? Denying that I’m fat is denying me the chance to find any beauty in it.
I feel uncomfortable when bigger girls talk about how they wouldn’t want to be skinny, how they would never want ‘hips like a 12-year-old boy’ or a flat chest or how much they like being ‘womanly’ because that’s just the same, confidence-crushing bullshit they’ve put up with all their lives but flipped over against some other girl. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad about their body, I don’t want to pronounce on what is, in general, an ‘acceptable’ size or shape. I want everyone and anyone and their aunt and their puppy to feel like it’s ok to be the way they are, and if they’re already happy with it, then that’s even more ok.
When magazines or, indeed, other humans talk about ‘real women’ and their ‘curves’ it makes my blood boil. Ok, so we’ve had years and years of one ‘heroin chic’ look, and now we’re trying to atone for it, but I don’t think that Kate Moss circa 1994 or Gwyneth Paltrow or Amy Winehouse are holograms… are they? I mean, they’re real in the sense that I haven’t just made them up for the purposes of this blog post. And they all define as women, as far as I know, so where’s the beef? Is it guilt and shame that makes magazines so keen to call Christina Hendricks ‘real’ because they know that until a couple of years ago, her and Adele and… well, that’s about it, would never have got a look in?

I don’t think I’m somehow superior because I’m fat. I just like being me. I find waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror satisfying. I enjoy my appearance, whether or not you do. And that’s priceless.


However: fashion magazines, the media, our global culture teach us that thin is preferable to fat, which is why it seems so much harder for fat girls to realise they even have the option to like themselves. And I mean girls like me or Beth Ditto, who are actually fat, not girls like Christina Hendricks or Lara Stone who seem to exist solely to make fash mags feel like they’re good people because they’re using pictures of someone above an A-cup. It is hard to be fat and to like yourself. Fatphobia, fat-shaming and plain old fat hate are so, so ingrained in our culture that people don’t even think twice about the fact they, instinctively, attach a lower value to ‘fat’ than ‘thin’. I’m speaking as someone with friends who think Keira Knightley has ‘big thighs’. I work in an environment where it’s assumed that fat people don’t wear high heels. Even plus-size retailers don’t have the respect or common sense to use appropriately sized models or mannequins to promote their clothes. To paraphrase, (I believe, correct me if my memory has failed me) Lionel Shriver in ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’, the greatest thing a Western woman can achieve is a protruding ribcage or a visible spine: she wears it as a badge of honour. We are trained to hate fat. By rights, even I should hate fat. I should hate looking at my fat legs, I should be ashamed of my fat arms, I should be wearing a tent-like apparatus to conceal my fat stomach, I should grow my nails long to elongate my fat fingers.
But that’s bullshit.
I live once. I am blessed with one body, and one mind and I’ve worked hard to reconcile the two. I’m 22. I wear what I want. I seek romance with people I find attractive. I got over my heel-dragging and nerves and took an internship at a women’s glossy fashion magazine where I looked like no-one on the staff, because I want to be a journalist and I want to be fearless. I stand up for myself. I stand up for others. I write my blog to help other people understand that you have a choice, that you only live once, that regret and resentment and denial are a life wasted. I have trained myself not to assume that the fat on my body means I am worth less, deserve less, that I appeal to no-one, that I shouldn’t wear what I want, that no one will want to date me or sleep with me or be my friend, that it will always be me who gets rejected, that as a fat girl, I can’t be fussy about who I’m kissing. As a wonderful man said to me over dinner in MontrĂ©al one night, ‘For some people it’s a deal-breaker; for others, it sweetens the deal’. It’s a sign of weakness on my part that I had ever assumed that potential partners would be deterred by my fat and that the same men or women would love me any more for weighing less. But the man was right; as well as doing myself a disservice, I’m doing a disservice to anyone that would potentially find me attractive.
Do people think I’ve never looked in the mirror? Do they think I’ve never seen a photo of myself, or bought clothes? Are they so keen to push their terror of fat onto me by denying me the right to be fat, and telling me I’m not? Are they conscious of the fact that by denying my fatness, they’re implicitly unpicking years and years of hard work, of hard knocks and of blows to my confidence to find the courage to enjoy being myself in the face of overwhelming opposition? Their cowardice in not being able to acknowledge that I am fat translates to disbelief that I am or could ever be attractive or beautiful or stylish or deserving of romance or a personal style. No one in the public eye that’s considered beautiful or a positive role model looks anything like me. At least slim girls know they’re doing ok because they see, every single day, photos of models and actresses and singers that basically look like a variation on their theme. Not me. I had to figure this all out for myself. Up against all this bullshit, it’d probably be easier to lose weight than to develop any kind of backbone or self-love.
It’s like the way I feel about my body hair: I have no respect for your comfort zone. I don’t accept a culture that wants to police my body, and that thinks that the price I have to pay for being a woman is being thin. I will continue to fight for the right to be a human on my own terms, not an object of derision nor an object of fetish.
Yes, health is nice, but I refuse to participate in any kind of body-policing, for aesthetics or health or politics. No one’s body should be held up as a source of shame, and health should not be a criterion for social acceptability. No body policing. None.
I refuse to be grateful if someone wants to date me, or take me home. I’d much rather someone didn’t want to date me because I was fat than because they thought I was a bad person, but equally if someone couldn’t bear the idea of dating me because I’m fat, then I would rather repeatedly bang my head against a wall than give them a second thought. I’m not exclusively quarantined in a life of singledom because I’m fat. Newsflash: some people want to date me sometimes. I take it for granted that I can participate in that because I’m an attractive human. Romantic attention is not something I’m grateful for.
Part of the problem is that so very often the people (women) who are perceived as, or self-style as mouthpieces for body-positivity are perfectly happy to be leader of the pack until they find a diet that works. People who aregenuinely happy in themselves are so few and far between, but they do exist.
I will never talk about ‘punishing’ my body for any reason, especially not for its fatness. I will never proclaim that I’m ‘allowed’ chocolate because I ate a salad for lunch. Food has no moral value and I’m sure as hell not going to give it one.
If any of this sounds radical, then that’s just testament to how far we’ve gone as a society to make body-shaming and body-policing the norm.

I’m going to wear horizontal stripes, tight skirts, short dresses, weird textures, a blunt fringe, high heels, skinny jeans, small florals, and whatever else takes my fancy, even if a fashion editor would vomit with disgust on sight. I have the choice and I choose to be fat and fucking marvelous, not one or the other.


I am fat. That is fine."

After reading this post it made me think a lot about myself. Why is it that I really want to lose weight. Is it because I want to or is it because I feel like I should because being slim is better? Dan obviously loves me exactly how I am regardless of my weight so why do I give myself such a hard time when I put on weight at my weigh in's at slimming world? This post isn't me saying that I am giving up on slimming world because slimming world isn't a diet it really. It is just healthy eating and I do want to feel good inside and out and losing weight does make me do that, however I have decided that I will not think that if I am not slimmer before my holiday that I won't enjoy myself.  I will start to learn how to love myself for exactly who I am Fat or thin. 

Thank you for taking the time to read and thanks to Bethany for a wonderful piece of writing.

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

A bit of self worth.

 This weekend I have been feeling lots of mixed emotions about this whole process of my weight loss journey. I sometimes wish that I was just happy and content enough to give up the yo-yo dieting and be happy with my body. I was dilly daddling around on the daily mail website (which I would like to add is generally trash) when I came across an article about plus size bloggers. Written and featuring a blogger called Lesley Kinzel. Although I do not agree with everything she writes I do think it is refreshing to read someone who tries to remove the negative connotations of the word 'Fat' the link for the article can be found here.





As I was browsing I also came across the magazine VOLUP2
  The magazine is beautifully presented and artistically challenging. I was engrossed from the start. It challenged my perceptions of curvy women and made me realise that I shouldn't focus on looking at how other girls look but focus on looking at what I want with my body and my health. This journey isn't about me being skinny it is about me being healthy and I often blur the lines between the two.

Some of the models in the magazine were breathtaking and exuded confidence and I only wish I had the confidence to wear clothes in current fashion. Some may argue that only women of a certain size can pull of high couture fashion but I believe it is how you feel that makes an outfit.

So drawing in my point yesterday I lose 2.5 pounds at my weigh in, but to be honest I didn't leave feeling all that great, I was wishing that I had lost more weight so I will feel and look better for  Barbados when really I should have been positive and happy that I am one more step away from my target.
So from today I am going to try and be more happy about me, about improving my confidence and self image and over all loving myself over loving wanting to be slim.

I know that it will not be easy but preservation is the key! Wish me luck...