This weekend I have been feeling lots of mixed emotions about this whole process of my weight loss journey. I sometimes wish that I was just happy and content enough to give up the yo-yo dieting and be happy with my body. I was dilly daddling around on the daily mail website (which I would like to add is generally trash) when I came across an article about plus size bloggers. Written and featuring a blogger called Lesley Kinzel. Although I do not agree with everything she writes I do think it is refreshing to read someone who tries to remove the negative connotations of the word 'Fat' the link for the article can be found here.
As I was browsing I also came across the magazine VOLUP2
The magazine is beautifully presented and artistically challenging. I was engrossed from the start. It challenged my perceptions of curvy women and made me realise that I shouldn't focus on looking at how other girls look but focus on looking at what I want with my body and my health. This journey isn't about me being skinny it is about me being healthy and I often blur the lines between the two.
The magazine is beautifully presented and artistically challenging. I was engrossed from the start. It challenged my perceptions of curvy women and made me realise that I shouldn't focus on looking at how other girls look but focus on looking at what I want with my body and my health. This journey isn't about me being skinny it is about me being healthy and I often blur the lines between the two.
Some of the models in the magazine were breathtaking and exuded confidence and I only wish I had the confidence to wear clothes in current fashion. Some may argue that only women of a certain size can pull of high couture fashion but I believe it is how you feel that makes an outfit.
So drawing in my point yesterday I lose 2.5 pounds at my weigh in, but to be honest I didn't leave feeling all that great, I was wishing that I had lost more weight so I will feel and look better for Barbados when really I should have been positive and happy that I am one more step away from my target.
So from today I am going to try and be more happy about me, about improving my confidence and self image and over all loving myself over loving wanting to be slim.
I know that it will not be easy but preservation is the key! Wish me luck...
Hi Callie,
ReplyDeleteI don't always comment on blogs but felt I had to on this occasion.
2 years ago I lost 3.5 stone to get to a size 18 and 15 stone. Some might say this is heavy but for me it was a massive achievement.
Although I hadn't disliked my body I was worried that I struggled with walking and going up stairs so I decided to diet.
I have always always been around a 20/22/24 for most of my teenage and adult life so my body has always been the same, big boobs, big bum, cellulite and flab but it is my body and it's the one I am used to.
When I got to a size 18 I felt good but it was a hard trek and I felt miserable having to count everything and not just be myself.
I was still single after all that, in fact I used to get more action when I was bigger.
I decided that I was going to stop diets ruling my life. Why couldn't I eat what I wanted? When I wanted?
Well it turns out that doing that means putting on 5 stone! I went up to 20 stone 4lbs to be exact! HUGE!
Even my size 24's were tight.
I was in denial completely about my weight gain. Thing is, I was still happy about my body. I still have confidence in it.
I am still single though so I think I do eat emotionally whilst not with anyone.
Recently, in the last 6 weeks I have started weight watchers again.
I have lost 13lbs so far and it's a struggle, the hardest thing I have had to do for a while, it is coming off SO slowly.
BUT I have decided that I will do it slowly if I want to and to take the pressure off slightly.
I do want to say though that your blog and many others have really inspired me. I always did embrace my curves but seeing you gorgeous girls doing the same instills a sense of admiration and I have become a 'fan' of Fatshion and Plus size clothing models and followers.
I really hope you do start to see the good in your self as you are a beautiful person, inside and out, from reading your blog and you are also inspiration to many.
Leah, thank you so much for this, got be all misty at work. The things you have said resonate with me a lot. The truth is that it is our yo yo dieting that gets us to be bigger than where we started, feeling more sad and unhappy with ourselves. I am glad you are on a journey to health, and if that is weight watchers you go girl! You can do it,just remember that as you are now is perfect and you will be just as perfect when you lose weight. I was single all my life until I met Dan and I know how it feels, but remember confidence attracts people so much more than sadness. You sound like the sweetest person and there is someone out there dying to meet you!
DeleteThank you from the bottom of my heart for always reading <3