Take some time...

I don't know what has been with me lately, I am feeling rather deflated. My blog is normally a place where I come to share what has been going on in my life, the ups, the downs, the Instagram's you catch my drift. Lately days have been emulsifying into weeks. I couldn't tell you what I was doing last Wednesday but I know sure as hell that I was busy. My emails have piled up ( I sound like a twat saying that I know) my life has just been on high speed. But last night I received some really sad news, something that made me stop and be quiet and calm.

 Last night I found out that a friend of mine had passed away. It was a shock to my inner core. Dan and I had met our friend Richard whilst on holiday in Turkey, we spent our entire time with him and his GF and we remained friends even after the holiday. We were lucky that Rich and Stef lived not so far away from us in South East London and Rich just worked around the corner from where I work. We maintained a great friendship, which included dinners at Wagamama's, Chinese and film night and lunch time meet ups laughing about the good times on holiday. Richard was such a good guy, a kind soul with a passion for life. Always smiling or making someone laugh. Last night when I received the call with the bad news I felt sick. Richard had passed away on the 4th of May, I hadn't spoken to him in a while and I hadn't even been on is Facebook as I just always assumed he was there, smiling away. How terrible is that.. my friend had died and I didn't even know. I have this huge block of guilt, how did I not notice that someone I considered a friend has tragically lost his life? Am I so swept up in my own life that I didn't notice my friends around me? I know that sounds crazy but we really don't know how lucky we are to have the opportunity to wake up and go on with our days. That we have the chance to moan about the commute, or the weather, or how busy we are. Richard won't get to do that anymore and it made me think how lucky I really am to have ever had the chance to meet him. He blessed mine and Dan's lives for a short time, but we will never forget him. 

Take some time today to tell someone that you love them. x

Why Size doesn't matter

This blog was always set out to be a lifestyle blog with a hint of plus size fashion, but as time as gone on it has developed into something much more. I speak a lot on here about body confidence and I get a lot of emails from girls surrounding this topic. I think now,  more then ever,  how we look, and feel about ourselves is a prevalent issue. Recently I was contacted by a lovely lady from the company 'Be Real talks' to tell me some information about an event that is running at the London College of Fashion. 

The event includes a talk called ' Why Size doesn't matter' and is a night that involves a fun carefree way of discussing body confidence issues. In my opinion this is a great way to open discussion on this topic, men and women everywhere are told how they should look, what size they should be and how to change. This event looks to me to be a fun event where you can meet like minded people, have fun and gain some knowledge. 

Also remember that ridiculous article written by Samantha Brick? Well this really super cool babe Natasha Devon basically told her what for on ITV and it quite frankly made me LOVE her and she will also be talking at the event so yeh I totally think you should come with me so I can fangirl over how amazing she is.



It does really look like a good night, and if any of you know me from reading my blog, I don't feature anything on here that isn't of interest to me! I would love to meet some of the readers from my blog so if you  fancy coming along with and making a night of it drop me an email or tweet me @calliethorpe 

The lovely lady over at Be Real Talks has created a discount code for my readers who would like to join me  offering tickets at £15 using code CLL00406 - you can get your tickets here

Let me know what you think be sure to check out the other guest speakers for the event!

Callie xx

Having my cake and eating it.

This morning I did something that I don't normally do, I got into an argument with an offensive fat hating person on twitter. Much of our debate surrounded the fact that he thought I should lose weight for my health, that I am unhealthy, not attractive and that some how if I lose weight my life will be better. There were also some words like 'Rhino' thrown about which shows what kind of person he was. As you know I spoke openly before about how hard I found dealing with negative, abusive comments about my weight. Many of you said don't listen, ignore them, they are idiots. I know that all of the above is right but sometimes you just want to get angry about it, and sometimes you want to answer back. Today was that day. It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable with myself and to take those comments on the chin. It was nearly a year ago that I started this blog, and I started researching plus size blogs, it was then that I found blogs such as Gabi Gregg,  Nicolette Mason and Bethany Rutter. It was then that my ideas of beauty were challenged. That I could still be successful, attractive and happy and be fat. Gabi's Fatkini post stuck with more than most. I was due to go on holiday to Barbados and was worried of how I would look in swimwear.When I saw that Gabi created the concept of a Fatkini as a way to own the fact that she could wear what she wanted in the summer and still feel good it made me really think. Just because society doesn't think fat people should wear bikini's it doesn't mean she wont or we shouldn't. 

Since that moment when I got my own Fatkini something changed in me, I felt empowered that I didn't have to justify my body to anyone. That I could wear a bikini on holiday and look fucking hot (Dan's words)

This changed my whole outlook on how I dress, how I behave and how I talk to other girls who are going through the same thing. Today I didn't hold back on telling some guy on twitter that I am worth more than my size, that I don't have to justify my size or my health to anyone. That if I want to stay fat or get fatter that is my prerogative. I also wanted to tell him why he was wrong, treat it as a opportunity to teach him something. Firstly how to have manners, secondly to challenge his ignorance with facts. This is a message to anyone reading my blog... don't hold back in having your say, challenge people's ignorance, be proud of who you are no matter what size you are. You are a human being with feelings, you are entitled to your opinion as is the person who made the comments this morning. Use your voice to make a change and put a stop to sizeist bullshit. 

To anyone who agrees with these fat hating views please enjoy some pictures of me eating cake... after all that is what all fat people do isn't it? Mmmm CAKE.

Also just a note to say how epic the plus size blogger babes on twitter were today in handling the comments. This is why I love them all! <3 

Clements Ribeiro Swan #KissCallie

Back in January I got to do something really really amazing. I was asked by Evans to model for their designer collection 'Swan' by Clements Ribeiro. This collection is a little different to the others, going for a fun, kitch look for their holiday collection, this time to be modeled by some of the most influential plus size fashion bloggers around. The launch of the clothing line will be happening tomorrow and I cannot wait to see the final shots and hopefully see some of you gorgeous babes wearing the clothes! 

But more to the point, today Evans Clothing have been running a caption competition over on their Facebook page. All you guys have to do  have to do is be a fan of the page (click here) , head over to the competition app and fill in the blank to complete a caption. You  can also enter a caption completely from scratch for a chance to win  Your entries will be judged by us five bloggers, with seven chances to win £100 to spend on your Clements Ribeiro Swan SS13 Holiday wardrobe.

Today is my caption day. If you enter please feel free to hash tag my caption with #kisscallie over on twitter. I have a feeling that I may get some interesting captions. I would really love to see your entries so feel free to share them with me! Good luck!

Why do we Care?

You know when you are reading an article and it just resonates with you so much? Well that happened to me yesterday when I was reading 'Stylist Magazine' on the train home. The title of the piece 'Why do women care so much?'   really made me think deeply about a few things, about myself, my anxiety issues and blogging. The main premise of the article (although I don't agree with everything in it) talks about our obsession with what other people think of us.

"The fact is, most of us do care. Very much. It matters if people think we’re intelligent, decent, generous and attractive. If we nod to the latest trends, make the right decisions and show up at the ‘right’ social events. From the language we use to the information we post on social media, caring about what others think infiltrates every aspect of our lives. "

I am saddened to think that to an extent this fits with the kind of person I am. I don't blog for gratification or for vanity but I sometimes find myself think 'What will people think of this outfit I am wearing? Why am I not invited to that event? Will this tweet I write be offensive to someone? I am always over thinking about the way someone has said something to me or why they perhaps haven't said anything at all and at times it is suffocating. Starting my blog has helped me leaps and bounds to increase my confidence with the way I dress, and act, but I still find myself questioning my own personal sense of style. As I was reading on I was thinking YES YES YES to lots of things that were written. Does being the nice guy always pay off? Or does being the nice person who stays on the fence in order not to offend people end up being the one who suffers the most?

"Women, especially, are expected to tiptoe around clutching their lifetime report cards to their modestly covered chests, proffering them meekly up to family, friends, loved ones and complete strangers alike, forever doing things they don’t want to do and not doing things they want to do in the hope of a few tacky gold stars for good behaviour"

When I finished my degree in Human Rights and Religious Studies I said that I wanted to be a career woman who would work for a charity, travel around the world and do something extraordinary  When I graduated it didn't quite work out as I planned, getting into the Charity Sector was harder than I thought, even with my previous voluntary experience I was still only getting offered unpaid internships! I worked three jobs at one time to pay for my rent in London so unpaid just wasn't an option. Whilst I was job hunting some of my friends went off to travel the world and at the time I felt very bitter and upset that I couldn't go. When I finally took my current job as a Receptionist and Administrator in a world renowned university I was really happy, ecstatic actually that I manged to secure myself I well paid job in a difficult economical climate. As time has gone on I have found myself sometimes worrying that if I tell people that I am a mere receptionist that I will be judged, that those who know I went to university will think that I couldn't get to where I wanted to be. The truth is I love my job, and my plans have changed. I thought I wanted the high flying job, but I don't. I love working with people, I love working somewhere I don't have to take my work home and a job that gives me the flexibility and time to blog in the evenings. I love seeing my boyfriend everyday and enjoying the wonders of living in London. Is it terrible that I sometimes feel that I have to justify this to people? In reality I am sure they couldn't give two fucks about what I am doing. 

"While caring how others perceive us isn’t all negative – it can act to censor us – taken too far, it leads to a loss of self. We waste hours over-thinking when we could be enjoying; we fail to follow our passions for fear of what peers might say; we stay in jobs that don’t satisfy us because they give us social recognition. We behave within safe, group-defined boundaries. We aren’t our true, authentic selves."

Blogging has also highlighted to me my need to please others and has both been a release and a burden on how I think of myself. At times I can post a picture of myself in what ever I want to wear and I feel immensely confident, and getting girls email me to say that I have helped them feel more confident makes me burst with pride. Other times blogging makes me want to wither away. Being featured heavily in the media recently I have had to learn to get to grips with peoples comments about my weight on various articles some of these comments have had be crying in the corner wishing I never ever created a blog. Now I don't read the comments, and day by day I am feeling more strong willed and quite frankly not interested in what people think. In time I think I will learn to get a balance right, of caring about others whilst not letting peoples opinions of me get to my inner core. I will start saying no to doing things that I don't want to do and stop spending 3 hours over thinking that text I sent to my friend worried that she is pissed off at me, I will post shameless selfies because I think I look nice and not worry that people are judging me for being a 'poser' or vain and I will wear anything I want as a fat woman and not have to justify why I am overweight. I will most certainly not be justifying why I am happy being a bloody receptionist! None of us have to apologise for the way we are, unless of course we are inflicting discomfort on others lives, but in everything else we don't have to justify our fashion choices, our lifestyle choices, our lives full stop to anyone. 

So here enjoy some of my shameless selfies, pictures of my fat body in a bikini and my face that I intend to pull if I begin to feel myself justifying my life to anyone.

A Monthly Roundup.

Life has a funny way of biting you in the ass doesn't it. As old Sinatra would say You're riding high in April shot down in May. This month hasn't been the best, in fact it has been stressful for me, finding out we have to move from the flat that I have lived in for 6 years came as a shock and trying to find somewhere new to live isn't fun. Saving money isn't fun. Not a lot has been fun if I am honest. Although I have been doing some lovely things amongst the shitness of the month which has helped me get over my hump. Here's what I have been up to....

The London Marathon 

I have lived here in London 6 years and this was my first year at the Marathon. I was there to support my friend Daniel who was running for the MS charity, a charity very close to my heart. I was so proud when he came across the finish line at 3 hours 50. The weather was lovely and the atmosphere was immense. So if you did the Marathon I commend you! 

Wanders and Sunshine.

I love spring blossom, something so mesmerising about it don't you think?

Picnics in the park and colouring in, something so therapeutic about it.

Wearing my ASOS Curve floral trousers, they are so comfy! Meeting Charl of Ginger girl says and Alice of Bright town girl and some other beauties at a beauty bloggers meet up. 

 

The Awesix Seven Sisters social opera launch 

Before the launch we all decided to go and grab some dinner at a Tapas Restaurant in Angel called 

Sangria. I have to say the Tapas was good but wasn't too impressed with the Paella, was a little undercooked for my liking.

Danie my friend and the creative director of Awesix Media did really well with her launch head over to her twitter to find out more about the Seven Sisters social media Soap Opera!

Thanks for dropping by kids. <3 

Weekend Wanders

This week has been tiresome, I couldn't wait to see the back of it so when friday came around I almost did a little happy dance in the office. Do you ever get that where you are literally losing the will to live from the worst week at work? The weather was a joke all week and that put me in a mood and I was just so tired every day, no matter how much I slept I just wasn't waking up refreshed urgh. Friday evening was cheered up by a girly night with wine, giggles and munchies. Always a pick me up having a laugh with your girls. 

Saturday Dan and I had arranged to meet our friends in Borough Market for a cheeky lunch and catch up with coffee. I love me some Borough Market, so much good food that it is impossible to choose what to have. I chose to wear something comfy to walk around the market so opted for a maxi skirt and converse. I didn't even get round to taking a good picture what kind of blogger am I?!! Also my eyes look like they are shut I am smiling so hard hahahaha. 

Look at all those beautiful carbs. Bread come at me!

For lunch I chose a Grilled Chicken, roasted Red Pepper and Halloumi wrap, which is a humble yet excellent lunch choice.

I tasted the most amazing passion fruit curd and was salivating for a good 10 minutes need to have a go of making that. Unbelievably good. 

This coconut cake was IMMENSE and after uploading to Instagram I discovered it's an Australian cake I really want to have a go at making this at home, so light and tasty! 

Here is a generic picture of my hot chocolate, because you know people love pictures of drinks in mugs. 

After this delicious feast and a bloody good catch up with my babes the weather turned grim and Dan and I made our way home with two ready meal dinners from Marks and Spencer, that's right no glam just a dirty box dinner because as much of a foodie as I am I couldn't be assed. At least I opted for a posh ready meal thought right? That set the tone for the evening slothing on the sofa, eating bad food and cuddling. Oh well onto a new week and I have some lovely things planned and waking up to this beautiful human is enough to cheer up any shitty week for me.